Friday, 22 April 2016

Crushed and Learnt

Crush,, crush,, crush .. Fact said you know you have a crush on someone when you'll notice every single detail about them no matter how small it is and when they do something for you, you feel so touched, no matter how simple it was.. It's cliche you know .. everyone do have feel this feeling at least once.. till they said girl may have many crush but only one stay in her heart while boys may flirt on many girls but only one stay in his heart.. 

          Mine happens from being a strangers to a friend. When I was 14, I did have a crush on this guy.. He is 2 years older than me and we went to the same school .. Well, yess he is good looking, i mean like who didnt fallen in love with handsome guy .. pfftt.. So, on that historical day, I was rehearsing our group performance on stage .. and there where I met him. He was a prefect that responsible to that events so he was there, preparing some tools and tents.. It was like a 
crush on the first sight that for the first time I dont feel like I wanted to know his name or where he came from .. 

          So we became friend when I knew he is my sister's friend and my sister introduced me to him. Then, I didnt know how we could skipped "acquitance-zone" and became friend exactly .. Since like we're in the same school so I kept crossing line to meet him. It made my day seriously, happiness comes from nowhere.. Even when I knew he's smilling to his friend behind me I felt like he was smilling to me  what can I say .. I began to imagine things about more than a friend but I never said this to him so it didnt happen. Then time passes by we still friend just not that close, I think we almost become strangers. 

                 This pressured me anyway so luckily the next year I got chance to transfered my school. I thought running away from him this far could make me forget him like forever but a year passes, and I heard he had a girlfriend and he ignored me almost everytime pfft i know i'm not anyone but friend kay and i mean idc anyway but it bothers me a lot till I planned to be anti-boys but serious saying it didnt. It makes me more to playgirl.. so we didnt talk for 4 years including that year. This year, on the first month, he texted me that's when I know he is single but too bad I wanted him but I dont think he wants me.. It crushed me a lot, it's my faults, I dont completely confessed but I just gave him hints. My heart pumpings like hell and my brain started to think nonsenses when he finally said " You're more than a friend to me " ok honestly, like metaphore, my heart drops and crashed till I couldnt find any pieces of it when he continues ".. you have been like sister, unbiological sister " It crushed me. Thank u crush for this hit. 

          Anyway, that's not my point actually hehehe so what I wanted to tell is that.. God gives this feeling for us to learn something. He brings a guy/girl to our life so that we could learn something from that person. It's a testimonies. Either we chose Him or our crush . The moment u chose your crush, He will give u chances to date and He gives u challenges. Sometimes, the challenge is about obstacle from family, something with our works or lost in support.  If u pass the challenges, that is when u could see u are living happily ever after with that person. While if u failed the challenge, that is when breaks up, hatred, scandals and every little bad of that person started to appear. It's also how strong u faced it, how really u need helps from Him. He always wanted to know that He is still the one that we really need, that's why He told us to ask if we need something.. He wants to communicate with us . ok. Admit it, you learnt something but perhaps u dont realize it. He is testing u because He loves u more. So what can I say. Crush is a gift and testimonies. If u ever asked someone how to forget this crush that crushed u a lot, they will said that
          "You better forget him/her the way you forget God when u are happy with him/her"

            So, I'm sorry if this is offending .. I'm not trying to say that u should not have a crush or u should not date or anything related. Maybe it just what I thought. Not because I was rejected because it just happened years ago. Focus on Lord and when u have him/her, dont forget Him.. True Love waits tho, just wait for the right time.. That's all because I think it will be perfect if u include Him in your relationship anyway .. I dont know am I talking nonsense or something but I'm going to stop here before I write ridiculous things.

            Thank u for spending time .. Feel free to leave your comments/story/sharing or anything that u argues or something comes in mind .. because I'm a human, I make mistake  be blessed